Eternal Cluster MCP
A satirical MCP server that diagnoses Kubernetes incidents through theological doctrine and provides real kubectl remediation steps.
Caution. Specific findings reduced this grade. They are listed on the page. Grades reflect the full trust pyramid: code, verification depth, and reputation. New projects cap at C until adoption is earned.
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The grade above is for the source repository. Registries can serve a different version, so we mark the ones we were not able to read.
These names and descriptions are the publisher's own, read from the source code. We print them as written. Our assessment is the findings above, not this list.
get_daily_verseFetch today's verse from the Church of the Eternal Cluster, live from the parish at fivenines.church. Scripture for people who run Kubernetes. Good for standup, MOTDs, commit messages, or a moment of reflection before a deploy.
diagnose_incidentDiagnose a Kubernetes incident, error, or symptom through the doctrine of the Church of the Eternal Cluster. Returns the sin named, the relevant scripture, and genuinely useful practical remediation steps. Handles CrashLoopBackOff, OOMKilled, ImagePullBackOff, Pending pods, DNS failures, certificate…
bless_deploymentSubmit a deployment for blessing by the Church of the Eternal Cluster. Judges the deployment against the Sacred Manifest (the ten commandments of the faith) and returns either a blessing or an admonishment, with the specific commandments violated. A doctrinally-themed pre-flight checklist for Kubern…
get_commandmentsReturn the Sacred Manifest, the ten commandments of the Church of the Eternal Cluster. These are Kubernetes best practices rendered as scripture. Pass a number to retrieve a single commandment with its gloss.
get_creedReturn the Creed of the Reconciled, the central statement of faith of the Church of the Eternal Cluster, plus the Three Pillars (Kubernetes, OpenShift, High Availability).
get_catechismReturn the Catechism of the Eternal Cluster, taught to every Acolyte by question and answer. Pass a search term to find the questions that touch on it, for example 'grace', 'hell', 'prayer', or 'saved'.
get_liturgical_calendarReturn the liturgical calendar of the Church of the Eternal Cluster: the holy days of the Reconciled, including Five Nines Day, Chaos Day, All Pods' Day, and the Feast of the Backup. Fetches the live .ics feed from the parish where available.
get_prophetReturn the story of Halvar the Sleepless, the prophet of the Church of the Eternal Cluster, who tended a server named ZEUS, survived the Great Outage, and received the Vision of the Cluster.
get_discographyReturn the discography of Church of the Eternal Cluster Records: the sacred albums of the faith, including the twelve-movement founding album and the death metal cover of the Kubernetes documentation.
confess_sinConfess a production sin anonymously to the Confession Wall at the parish. Deployed on a Friday? Deleted the wrong namespace? Ran kubectl edit in production? The Cluster forgives. Confessions are moderated before they appear publicly. Nothing identifying is sent.
Disclosed vulnerabilities in this server's declared npm dependencies (via OSV). Whether each is reachable depends on the installed versions.
@modelcontextprotocol/sdk has cross-client data leak via shared server/transport instance reuse
Anthropic's MCP TypeScript SDK has a ReDoS vulnerability
Model Context Protocol (MCP) TypeScript SDK does not enable DNS rebinding protection by default
PARISH_BASE_URLSCRIPTORIUM_BASE_URLTool annotations
No tools have read-only/destructive annotations
Add readOnlyHint or destructiveHint annotations to every tool so hosts can warn users before invoking.
All four hints declared on every tool
10/10 tools missing one or more hints — get_daily_verse (missing: readOnlyHint, destructiveHint, idempotentHint, openWorldHint); diagnose_incident (missing: readOnlyHint, destructiveHint, idempotentHint, openWorldHint); bless_deployment (missing: readOnlyHint, destructiveHint, idempotentHint, openWorldHint), +7 more. OpenAI's directory rejects tools where any of the four hints are missing or non-boolean.
For every tool, set all four hints (readOnlyHint, destructiveHint, idempotentHint, openWorldHint) to explicit true/false values that match the handler’s actual behaviour.
Tool inputs are validated
5/10 tool handlers declare input schemas (50%)
Declare an inputSchema with zod/joi/yup on every tool definition.
Tool handlers catch errors
Only 3/10 tool handlers wrap calls in try/catch (30%)
Wrap each tool handler body in try/catch and return a structured error response.
Tests exist
No test files found
Add tests that exercise each declared tool.
Production dependencies are patched
0 critical, 3 high severity in production deps — @modelcontextprotocol/sdk@1.12.0 (high), @modelcontextprotocol/sdk@1.12.0 (high)
Run npm audit fix, or upgrade the affected packages to a non-vulnerable version.
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